Are you pooping?

Today my girlfriend asked me, “Are you pooping?” She asked it through the closed bathroom door, while I was, in fact, pooping, so I said, “Yes.”

To test ChatGPT’s knowledge, I asked it the same question. “Are you pooping?”

It responded with the following: “Nope, I’m just here to chat! How can I help you today?”

As I read its response, I realized how dumb the question was. Why would I ask it if it was pooping? That wasn’t the question. The question was whether I was.

So I asked ChatGPT, “Am I pooping?”

To my surprise, it didn’t return a direct response. Instead, I was told I was giving feedback on a new version of ChatGPT. I was offered two responses and asked which I preferred. My options were the following.

1. I can’t say for sure! How are you feeling?
2. I can’t say for sure! How are you feeling?

As far as I could tell, the two options were the same. So I said to ChatGPT, “I don’t prefer either of those responses because they’re the same.”

ChatGPT responded, “Got it! I’ll aim for more variety. What would you like to talk about instead?”

So I asked again, “Am I pooping?”

ChatGPT replied, “Only you would know! How are you feeling right now?”

Finally it was getting it. But still, it didn’t know. It was asking me to tell it. By now I realized, it must not have known. That’s why it asked me.

Look at that. Maybe I do stand a chance.

Me: 1

ChatGPT: 0